Lately I have been thinking a lot about weight. I am generally not someone who cares a lot about a number on a scale, and in fact most of my life I haven’t even owned a scale. In the past 8 months however I have had to buy new clothes (specifically pants) several times because I have grown out of my previous ones, so I got curious. I stepped on a scale recently and found that I have gained over 10kg (over 20 lb) in the past 8 months.
“No matter how body-positive I usually am, or how good I am at advocating self-confidence, sometimes I still fail and fall victim to self-doubt or discouragement”
I actually wrote a blog post already and filmed a video talking about this weight gain and then all about body positivity, but it didn’t feel genuine or honest enough. Here I am again now to re-write and re-film in an attempt to infuse my content with more authenticity and honesty. The truth of the matter is, having gained this weight does bother me, and as hard as it is to admit it, it does nag at my self-confidence. I know that there is so much more to life than a perfect diet, fitness plan, or body, but no matter how body-positive I usually am, or how good I am at advocating self-confidence, sometimes I still fail and fall victim to self-doubt or discouragement.
When I look in the mirror, I am still grateful for who I am, for how I look, and for the size that I am and I don’t think that the weight I have gained would be as bothersome to me if it wasn’t for the fact that I know that this increased weight is only a result of my decreased health. Health is infinitely more important than weight or size! If I was the size that I am now and if I was healthy, I would be content. However, over the past year I have had to deal with various health issues on and off, and my overall fitness and wellness capabilities have slowly diminished. That -not my increased weight, but my decreased health- is what bothers me more than any number, or size ever could.
“Health is infinitely more important than weight or size!”
I have always considered myself an active and athletic person. Until recently. The list of sports I have played or participated in runs long, and some of my favorite activities include hiking, rock climbing and swimming. By nature, I am at my happiest when I am outside engaging with nature and being active. However, because of the health issues I have dealt with for the past year or so, it has been hard for me to physically or mentally motivate myself to stay active, and most of the activities I now engage in are indoors and fairly physically passive in nature.
“I am reclaiming responsibility and taking charge of my health”
I have no intentions to go into the details of my personal weight or health history in this post (perhaps that will come at a later time if I feel it appropriate), but I wanted to write this post as a way of reclaiming responsibility and taking charge of my health again. I have been out of control with most of the health issues and obstacles that I have faced over the past year or so, and this feeling of helplessness has in turn extended itself into the areas and part of my life that I actually can control. For example, because there have been times where health-wise I have not been able to go jogging or do 30 minutes of yoga, my mind started believing that this inability was not just temporary, and this feeling of inadequacy or inability in turn extended into all aspects of my life.
I cannot control disease or sickness, but I can control my decisions. Even when we take care of our bodies, sometimes we will fall victim to illness and that is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is that we continue to take care of our bodies, show ourselves love and care, and that we never give up.
“Minimize your excuses”
I saw someone online, in reference to minimalism and health, explaining that this year she is minimizing her excuses. Well, I want to do the same. I want to start making healthier choices in the foods that I eat and the activities that I choose to engage in. This post is my post of accountability. My promise to myself that I will be putting forth the effort it will take to reclaim my health, and that I will minimize my excuses.
Sign up for the Embracing Average Newsletter by entering your e-mail below!